Who's Your Daddy

Matthew 10: 2-4

Comedian Johnny Carson said his son gave him a paper which read, “To the man who has inspired me with his fatherly wisdom.” Carson replied, “Son I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” His son said, “I don’t, can you fax this to Bill Cosby?” Yes, fathers do have a hard time getting respect these days. I know Dr. Huxtable is a great man, but I am sure Johnny was looking for a different answer. The reason for this, in my opinion, is that dad’s feel a need to provide for and be known as a source of support in the family. Yet today, we do have many kids who have looked to others to fill ‘a void.’¹

I understand that in some cases, this fact is true because some dads, in society’s opinion, does not deserve to be recognized on this day. This is why we have added the phrase “Who’s your daddy?” to our language. This term began on the basketball court as a putdown. It was a way to say “I am better than you.”

But this morning, I would like to examine the Biblical side of this phrase as we remember together just who “Our Daddy Is….” Who’s your daddy? This has always been an important question in human society. That’s why the Gospel of Matthew begins with Jesus’ genealogy. It was critical to show that Jesus was a descendent of King David. In their culture, if you had any foreign ancestors, you could not call yourself a Jew. That is why in our reading this morning, we find the genealogies of a few of the disciples. Knowing who your Daddy is, is still important today. Just as we recognize our moms once a year, today we recognize our dads.

When I was writing this sermon, I almost changed the title (but it was a little to long to remember). The better title for today’s message is “Secrets of being a Dad … from the eyes of a child.” Coming from the child’s standpoint, I would like to point out what makes a dad great.

I asked a friend their opinion (since they have kids) and this was the answer I was given. If you are a dad, you have memorized these steps. If you are a dad, let me know if this is accurate. The Top 5 Tips for Changing Diapers:

Always use protective eye wear.

If you need a third hand, use your teeth!

When you run out of baby oil, use Old Spice.

Pressure-washers are not allowed.

Never scratch and sniff.²

Now that was not the answer I was looking for, but it does make some sense. However, here are what I have found to be the characteristics of a good dad.

1. First, a good dad gives his children his time. I know that life is hectic and busy, but here are the sad truths: In general, parents spend about 40 percent less time with the children than they did in 1965. For this reason, the book Family Politics and Growing Up Free, advocates “more dad and less mom.” This study, by Lettie Pogrebin, shows a disturbing trend. The average father now interacts with his baby less than thirty-eight seconds a day. You can’t make much of an impression in thirty-eight seconds. Perhaps this is why in a study of three and four year-olds, half the children preferred watching TV to spending time with Dad. The good news is that the other half still wished that their fathers would spend more time with them.³

A boy was asked by his father what he wanted as a present for his sixth birthday. The boy usually gave a detailed answer with Make, model, and serial number of the present he wanted. But this year he surprised his dad with this answer. “I’d like a ball.” When dad asked what kind of ball, the boy answered, “If you have time to play catch with me, I would like a football. But if you’re too busy, I would like a soccer ball so I can play with my kids in the neighborhood.” The father quickly realized that what the boy really wanted was more time with Dad.⁴

Second, a good father gives his children emotional support. This is much more difficult than giving time. To describe this to you, there was a man named Jim Howard. He lived a fast-paced life as an executive rising in the ranks until one day he received a call which changed his life. Jim’s three-year-old grandniece, Kelli, had fallen down a flight of stairs and suffered a slight concussion. I want you to know that Kelli’s mother and grandmother had been partying when this happened. They were both into drugs. A social worker called Jim and asked if he would take Kelli or if they should place her in the foster system. Jim immediately took two weeks off from work and came to get Kelli. He said he took the time so Kelli could develop a routine in his home. This was important because the only men Kelli knew where drug dealers and her mom’s abusive boyfriends. He sold his ‘bachelor-pad’ and bought a house in the suburbs. He quit taking business travels and raised her. Today, she is back with her mother who went through extensive drug rehab, but Jim is not out of the picture. He bought the house next door for Kelli and her mother and remains a positive influence in both of their lives.⁵ Yes, Jim is not Kelli’s real dad, but he is the man who she says will always be ‘Daddy.’ Jim understands that part of his commitment to Christ is to be committed to those closest to him. A good dad gives emotional support.

3. A good father gives UNABASHED AFFECTION. I doubt that it is possible for a father to show his family too much affection. A man was waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon when he noticed a man coming toward him carrying two light bags. The man stopped and greeted his family. He first noticed his youngest son as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long loving hug. When they separated, the father said, “It’s good to see you, son.” The shy boy replied, “Me too, Dad!” The man stood up to see his oldest son or nine. He cupped his face in his hands and said “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They also hugged. While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one-and-a-half) was squirming in her mother’s arms. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took her close to his chest and rocked her.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” He approached his wife and gave her a long kiss. They gazed in each other’s eyes and he told his wife “I love you so much!”

The man who was in the terminal got up and went over to the two that looked like newlyweds (except for the children) and asked how long they have been married. The man replied fourteen years. The man then asked how long he had been away and he replied, “A two days.” At that the younger man replied, “I hope that my marriage is still that passionate after fourteen years.” The older man immediately stopped smiling looked at the young man and with forcefulness said, “Don’t hope, friend … decide!”⁶

This morning I leave you with this fact. Of all the secrets of being a good father, the ultimate secret is this: Decide! Decide to reorder your priorities. Decide to give your family your time, your emotional support, and your unabashed affection. Just as Christ loved the Church, so to does a father love his family. (Pause) If all of us men remember to give these things. If we decide to give these things. Then we will be remembered as Good Fathers. If we obey God and teach our families to simply “Turn our eyes to Jesus,” then as Joshua told the people of Israel, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15b).

If you would stand and join me in singing Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.